how do you know?

5 Mar

i was talking with a girlfriend the other day who is currently going through some problems in her marriage. and she asked me, how do you know it’s going to get better? she said that if she knew it was going to get better that she would do this a hundred million  times because she would know the outcome but, then she looked at me again and asked, how do you know? 

my first response was that you know you’re never going to have that answer and i stand by that because like her, i have asked myself that question a million times over. how do you know? how do you know that the choice you’re making or not making is going to effect your life in some way? and unfortunately, my answer is still the same, you won’t ever know.

it just so happen to be good timing when she asked me that it has been intersecting with my own personal life. i have been seeing a guy for the last three weeks or so. not the first guy i’ve seen since my breakup last year but, the first one that may actually be going somewhere seriously. he’s the only guy i’m seeing at the moment and yet, there are so many questions, fears, and feelings that are swirling around in my head at any given time. 

he’s a good guy. or at least that is what my instincts are telling me but, again, how do you know? after the hit I took this last year, how well do i really know about other people and what their intentions are all about or how well do i know about my own instinct? i feel like i really let myself down last year without listening to my instinct that may or may not have been screaming at me that the situation i was in wasn’t the best for me and now, my instincts might be telling me that this guy is a good guy and possibly worth taking a chance on but, i’m scared because…how do you know?

after you’ve been broken down a few times, i think your heart changes and the way you look at people and yourself changes. not to say that isn’t a good thing. i mean after you’ve been through some tough shit, you want to change even just for the very fact that you don’t want to be hurt that way again, but, can the change make you so afraid to make any decision at all? a part of me feels like i’m just waiting in limbo right now with this relationship and it’s very hard for me to even get excited about it. i’m so afraid that all the things i want just won’t happen and maybe not in this relationship or not at all. that’s why it’s very hard to even get my hopes up about anything at all.

i’m so afraid to get hurt again, i’m afraid to be disappointed or get lost in a situation that i shouldn’t be in. i’m afraid of putting myself into something, my whole self and not getting the same in return. i’m afraid, of well, i’m afraid of failing yet again. i feel like i’m getting too old to keep failing and failing so big. so, sometimes i find myself wanting to sabotage this relationship or myself. i know that isn’t the right thing but i feel like there is this part of me that is wanting to run scared. for so long now i have cultivated my independence once again and it’s something that i don’t want to lose or maybe it’s more about not wanting to lose my values, the ones that i’ve had for so long but haven’t ever really had met? i think that’s my biggest fear, is losing myself yet again for something or someone when i know it just isn’t the right thing.

so, now that i am faced with this particular situation i’m in which has brought me quite a bit of happiness back into my life, it ultimately has me wondering…how do you know? the only answer that seems appropriate…you don’t.

this adulthood thing is hard. do they tell you that as a kid and we just don’t listen?

5 Feb

it’s been too long since i wrote on my blog. i really do need to be more consistent with this thing as i know it always helps and it’ll help to stop making me look like a crazy person, wandering the streets talking to myself (well, sort of). and so to write all the things that have happened in the last month, i’ve put my headphones in so i can concentrate on just this one task and let everything else fade away. it ist much-needed as i find myself a bit heavy with thoughts. 

so, the last time i wrote you guys was to inform you that i started online dating. it was interesting then and it still is. i mean seeing your ex-boyfriend who is currently married on a dating website, well let’s say it didn’t quite boost my confidence about joining this whole new world. but i tried to take my sister’s advice and stick to it. so, because of it, i have met some people. one of which i feel like i completely blew and the other, i’m questioning. 

the first guy i met was great. i actually still think he’s great and have affection for him but, i think i may have revealed a little too much too soon and he pretty much ran for the hills. well, we won’t say that exactly but, whatever happened, it made me rethink exactly what he wanted right now and what he was willing to give and for right now, he just isn’t sure. and because of that, it was best that we part ways. can’t say that i haven’t been beating myself up a little bit about the whole thing, feeling like i might have scared off a potentially good one but, there’s nothing i can really do. i don’t regret being honest about who i am, where i’m coming from and what i’m ultimately looking for.

although, according to my oldest sister, she did tell me some wise words of advice which may prove to be useful in the future. assuming i actually take it which let’s be honest, seems not often enough. she told me that although there is nothing wrong with being myself and that i want to be just myself, that in possibly revealing my cards too soon that i am missing out on the fun that dating can be apparently. that it’s not allowing me to let things develop naturally and organically as they should. she said i am a control freak (couldn’t really disagree with that) and being in the dating world is extra scary for me because it’s one of the least controlling environments that one can find themselves in and she’s right about that. 

so, it wasn’t as if she was talking out of her ass. she really wasn’t. she does know a two or thing about dating and three or four things about me if not more. she is my big sister after all. it’s not as if i have to not be myself when dating but, i guess i could learn to curb some more of my annoying habits right out of the gate but, you know, after today’s therapy session which honestly couldn’t have come at a better time, it was confirmed that a lot of dating faux pas lately have been due to well, you heard it here, being afraid. well, that was a no-brainer, wasn’t it? here i think that guys do things subconsciously when really, maybe i too am guilty of doing said things.

i want to just hurry up and establish what a relationship is and exactly how a person feels about me so that i know i won’t get hurt. it’s as if i know all of their intentions right up front and their plans and how they feel about me, i will be in the clear. i will be safe. but, you and i both know that that just isn’t true and that just isn’t life either. to think that we can somehow cleverly outrun old hurts and our past demons is for me to think that i can also drink fire and poop gold at the same time or at all. it just won’t happen. 

my therapist told me that because of my fear of getting hurt and somehow irrationally thinking that what i want in a partner, ask for in a partner/relationship will never be met, i find myself rushing to get anything but, or putting myself in situations where i can only get some needs met and not permanently. she told me that to want what i want isn’t irrational at all or even unrealistic. and because i also didn’t get certain needs met as a child with my mother, i always feel like i may not get those and how could i ever get them from a man if i couldn’t ever get them from my own mother. i guess i’d never really thought about it from that perspective which was surprising to my because i thought i had dissected my relationship with my mother until it could no longer be done. but, i guess not. 

so, that now leads me to where i’m currently at. i’m now seeing this other guy that i had met around the same time as the one that just flew the coop (yeah yeah that may not be the exact case but i like to be dramatic and embellish my temporary pain). we just had our second date the other night and it was great. we’ve always had a great rapport and get along very well and very easily. needless to say, i find myself wanting to know more about him and where this could possibly lead. he was very honest with me about where he is in his life. he’s very unsure if he wants to pursue anything serious at this time due to the conflicting nature of his job which will put him overseas in possibly in the next 5 to 9 months which his mind is made up that he will not carry on a long-distance relationship for the time he is gone because he won’t put anyone through that nor himself after having had a bad experience. i didn’t blame him nor could i change his mind and i’m not supposed to. that’s not my job.

so, in a way no matter where this “relationship” goes, it may very well go to splitsville because of his wants and the only job i have is to decide what i want. is that something i can live with? can i just do something fun and enjoyable for now without expectations? and i don’t know. this is the thing about me, i live very much in the black and white. and we all know that life is hardly anything but. it’s mostly in the gray or the other colors in-between. and i think so much about either being all in or all out but, am i missing out if i can’t put myself in the middle where some of life’s experiences are happening, and may very well be vital to me?

i told this person last night that i am interested in continuing to see him and going with the flow but, as i’ve thought more and more about it today, i’m not sure if that’s really what i want. but, i feel like i’m telling myself that i can’t have fun. that i can’t just live without putting so much pressure on myself and these experiences, thinking i can only get one resolution from it. i feel like if i go through with this then somehow i’m moving further away from what i really want but that’s the thing that my therapist said, that i can’t think that just because i allow myself fun, i allow myself the company of someone without expectation that somehow i’m not going to get my needs met, whether they be with this person or someone down the line.

i thought at the end of this blog, i might have my mind made up but, i don’t. i will just have to live with that. i don’t know if it’s about being present which i try to do at all times, or if it’s just knowing that what i want is okay to want and that i will get it. and that it’s okay to wade myself through this journey for it is just that, a journey. we shall see. 

To Be Strong Is To Experience Pain

14 Jan

Love this ❤

Positive Outlooks Blog

Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it, accept and learn from it. — Unknown
Man walking at sunset

 

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sometimes the universe really does remember that you exist.

13 Jan

I’ll tell you something about tough times. They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you’ll find your way through.”- Joan Bauer

This quote could not be more truer for me than it was today. For months and months I have been taking myself to the emotional brink of a certain event that happened this past year. I’ve struggled with the decisions, choices and a whole helluva lot of “what ifs” to the point of nausea. I mean, y’all have heard me whining about this shit for so long now but, somehow today, something happened so unexpectedly that I think it’s really brought me full circle with this situation and truly given me incentive to move on. This is how the story went…

So, I’ve never been a person who goes on dating sites. And when I say never, I mean not once in all of my 27 years have I done so. But, at the insistence of some family and friends, I thought I’d finally give it a try. I mean it’s a new year, why not, right? So, I’m setting up my profile on one of these websites and I’m not really taking it all that seriously but, as I am entering in what I’m looking for, somehow, as I’m writing it down, it’s like a lightbulb came on that said, yeah, this is really what you want and need. And everything up until now with anyone else has never given you that, not even close. And there I thought, it’s finally okay to feel like this is what I’m looking for and this is what I deserve and I don’t want to settle for anything else. Or at least compromise myself like I have over and over and over again. 

Anyway, so I’m done with my profile and get some hits and what not. Find some interesting people, some cute guys and some not so interesting folks. It was all very…well…let’s just say, interesting and enlightening. So, that was night one. Pretty harmless, right? So, today I go and check on this site to see what was up, almost like checking your email, as easy as that and I decide to check out, my matches. I’m thinking that matches means people that you are best matched with based on your likes but, apparently it meant it your matches based on your geographical location which I suppose makes sense in the grand scheme of things assuming that at one point if you find someone you are interested on one of these things, you’d want to eventually meet them.

anyway, so i’m looking at my matches and lo and behold, of all the places that I didn’t think I’d EVER see this person again is my ex-finance (you know, the one I’ve been heartsick about these last however many months) and the one that you know, got MARRIED about 4 months ago and is STILL MARRIED. so, immediately, I’m like WTF (after almost falling off my bed entirely). I’m thinking of all the places you’d be on in the social media world, why in the hell are you on here? I mean i have been plagued by months on end on social media outlets such as facebook and instagram with the temptation to see his new life and for the most part I have given in except the past couple of months so I thought I finally found the one place that I’d be free from you. I GUESS NOT. did I mention before…WTF?!?!?!?!!?

so, his profile on this dating website is under some different alias, and says he still lives in the town that I do which he does not and hasn’t for months now. oh and the other fact…YOU’RE MARRIED! and i feel like i would have given him more credit had he not filled anything out and just put his pictures up but this guy had the audacity to fill out his interests and what he’s looking for. YOU’RE MARRIED! did i mention that?!?

but, of course i’ve got to give this guy the benefit of the doubt which i cannot think why at all but i’m thinking okay, well maybe the marriage didn’t work or whatever the case may be…NOPE. still married. so, after I got over my initial shock and i was able to pick my jaw up off the floor, i gave my sister and one of biggest supporters a ring and we had a long chat about it. and she told me that i just have to realize that this is truly where i’m supposed to be, that that could have been me, would have been me had i decided to uproot my life and marry this guy and follow him to where he’s at now. and that i was so jealous of this person he was with, wanting to be her when it was a known fact that how he treated me was awful enough and that he wasn’t going to change. see, this is how i saw it. i thought, well he got married. that’s a big decision, right? maybe one of the biggest you’ll ever make in your life and you wouldn’t make it unless you were ready or just knew. so, i got that into my head. got it into my head that somehow there was something so much better about this person he had chosen to marry, that she had something i was lacking so very much. and that he had changed and was ready to commit and was being responsible. 

and who knows, maybe there is some truth to that but, not enough i don’t think. nothings changed. at least not for him. he is truly that guy who is who he is right now and i don’t know how long he’ll be that way but he is indeed that person. and seeing pictures of him and his wife and their new life has always made me so incredibly sad and jealous and angry at times but when i saw it today, i felt so different. okay, okay, i can admit that i did gloat a little, but only very little. because most of me felt an incredible sadness for her and for me and for him. because i was once that girl, we’ve all been, right? i was that girl who was just willing to settle for whatever came her way. i was going to take that life and make it my own when i knew i deserved so so much more. and when i was putting down my own preferences on my profile for what i wanted, i came to the HUGE realization that no person I’ve ever been with has ever come close to giving me any of the things I really wanted and needed. and especially not him.

and so i feel sad for him in the sense that there is still something in me that wants to believe that people are good and want to change. i want to believe that he can be the person i’ve always wanted him to be, can see him being. i just wish he wanted that as much as i do for him but i’ve heard it a million times and i will say it now, that some things never change. but, after seeing this and experiencing this today, i knew just how much i’ve changed. how much this pain has transformed me and how much growth i’ve really had this last year and still continue to have. it was quite profound for me. 

it made me feel like that every single thing i’ve been there, all of the tears, fights, struggles, changes, sleepless nights, hopelessness and a whole plethora of feelings has brought me to the place that i need to be and that’s here. i needed to be here in my hometown and in my home with my family and my friends surrounding me with their constant love and support. i needed to be in a familiar place that would bring me back to a place where i knew who i was, and what i was capable of. i needed to be in the ugliest of situations to show me just how strong i can, how much i can overcome, and who i really was beneath the rubble. 

i don’t know if today’s experience was the universe throwing me a bone or just shedding some light on me to tell me that it’s okay to be where i’m at, even if it wasn’t where i originally thought i was going to be or even if i feel like at times that i’m a million miles away from my dreams. i think it showed me a glimpse of the life i could have had and all the things i could have and would have lost had i decided to go down that path. life is just so fucking hilarious at times when it’s not beating you to the pulp. so, tonight, i feel like i’m going to go to sleep knowing that all the pain i’ve endured and put myself through wasn’t in vain and that i’m just getting started. 

a new year.

3 Jan

for a couple of days now, i have been thinking about what i’ve been wanting to say to wrap up 2013 and what i want to say about the year we just stepped into. it’s not that i necessarily want to wax poetry about all of the lessons i’ve learned but, i guess a part of me wants to voice it as best as i can. i want to know that i did learn some lessons actually. and i think i did. 2013 seems like it is what it would feel like to take a master’s program. i felt schooled to say the least.

my 2013 started off very different than other years. i was involved in something that completely raptured my whole being and for a time, i almost thought it’d always be like that. but, life as we all know it doesn’t always work out the way you think it’s going to or hope that it will. so, as my year progressed, it did just that. it turned into something i would have never asked for but would have to endure anyway. and maybe that was the point. because if we were to talk about lessons, this was by far the biggest lesson i have ever had to go through in my life.

by the beginning of summer, i pretty much was spun out on stomach-churning, heart-palpitating and sweat-induced heartbreak pain, the mother of all pains (besides stubbing your big toe). and that is where i will start talking about the lessons i’ve learned i suppose. no matter how much i’ve hoped for certain things in my life, i have become accustom to the notion that life never asks you what you want and even when i think it is, it really isn’t. and so this lesson wasn’t any different but it never feels any less painful whether you knew that already or not.

so, i think the lesson in that would be to know that yes, life isn’t going to ask you what you want so you’re going to have to do that for yourself. what do you want? you know, to be honest with yourself is one scary place to be. it’s sort of like being in the middle of a dark room and you’ve got to navigate yourself towards the light, the one that you hope is there in the first place. and i don’t know about you but, i’m not the biggest fan of the dark and that is what it was like, this lesson. being in the pitch black dark. and wondering, is there light, wherever i am?

we will come back to that in just a little bit because i don’t want to minimize other, possibly lighter yet most-noteworthy lessons i also learned. i learned that sometimes when you reach out and you stretch out your hand just long enough, someone will take it into theirs. i cannot begin to describe the depth of love and support i received this year from family, old and new friends alike. i can honestly say that my heart was full to the brim with the kind of tenderness i was able to receive from those that i loved, and those that i have grown to love so very much. these people, these oh so wise people who lent me their hearts when i felt mine was irrevocably broken and without these people, i don’t think i’d be able to sit here and write about this or make it through the pain that i was in.

you know it’s people like the ones that i am so fortunate to have in my life that are the things that make learning lessons like this the only thing possible to get through it and learn from it because these people are really the ones that have created a whole new dialogue and view to see things from. it makes me think back to this summer when i was getting my first tattoo and my tattoo artist who i still keep in touch with said this to me, he said that all life is about making connections and putting people in our hearts and that we shouldn’t waste one second on those who can only go surface deep. i think about that all the time, it was probably one of the most profound things i’ve ever heard. and i will always be grateful to those words.

and the connections i’ve made this year with new friends and the connections that have deepened with friends that i have had for years has been…well…it’s been everything to me. because i believe too that life is all about connections, reaching out and touching one another and being touched in return and this year proved that to me ten-fold.

so back to the biggest lesson i’ve learned that spurned from my heartbreak, you know the thing i’ve droned on about in probably all of my blogs. how did i learn from it? what else did i learn from it? what is it that i really do want? and my answer to all of those are well, just this…to be determined. if i were to sit here and tell you that i’ve learned my lesson, i will give my heart out to less people, i won’t give as much as myself to someone else, i won’t be with people less-worthy, or whatever, i’d probably be lying because those are things you cannot ever predict. yeah you get smarter about choices, and about the people you let into your life but you cannot predict just how you’re going to behave or how someone is going to react to who you are. life is still a gamble, no matter the lesson.

but, what i can tell you is that the growth i have taken this year is something that is a progression. it hasn’t stopped. i haven’t learned all that i can. God, do we ever? someone once told me that the minute you stop growing is when you’re dead. i still believe that. sure, i have days when i just feel like i want to be done already, i want to know exactly what i’m doing with my life, who i am, and where i’m going but, i know that’s ego and not truth. because the truth is that i may never know those things to an exact tee, and they may always change but, that’s the point. the only constant we will ever have is change.

you know i said before that being honest with yourself is a scary place to be and it is. and i find myself the most scared when i sit down and tell myself that this is what i want because sometimes i think, i may never get it. i may never have the courage to go out there and get it or have the courage to wait for it because i can be a taurus to a tee at times, one stubborn ass bull. i want things and i want them right now. but, remember, here comes that pesky notion again…life never asks you what you want. and what about this fear thing? is that ever going to go away, even with my progression into a new me? i don’t know.

the other day i was on facebook and i read a quote that said everything you want is on the other side of fear. pretty powerful, huh? i thought so at least. and it made me think of this year and just how much my choices have been fear-based for a very long time. i’m so fearful that i won’t ever get what i want, and that if i ever do, it won’t be real. or that i don’t really know what i want or that i’m afraid to be that honest with myself about what i do want. i did mention i have this thing about fear, right?

but, then i think about some of the things i did this year and i think that some were made possible by the fact that yes, i was scared out of my gall but, i did it anyway. that i pushed through certain boundaries that were only put up by myself and my fear and again, i did it anyway.

so, to really try to sum up my year as poetically as i can and with all the meaning of who i am and who i want to be, what i learned the most this year was that there are some connections you make in life that run so deep, they’ll change every core of who you are or thought you were, and that if you don’t ask yourself what you truly want, no one will, and that fear is a state of mind, a motivator, and the one thing that can stop you dead in your tracks or make you look at yourself in the most brutally honest way, the only way to look at yourself.

2013, you really kicked my ass. you beat me to a bloody pulp, had me crying like a newborn baby in the fetal position, and really pushed me off a cliff with no remorse whatsoever. yet, just like any other bully who comes to take my lunch money, you leave me with something i didn’t have when you took my money the first time and that’s conviction that the next time, i will be better prepared. i may not always get it, you may always take a little something from me, but each time, i’m going to be there, a little smarter, faster, and hopefully, better.

2014…here we go.

it’s been a while.

23 Dec

it’s been seven months since we split and last night, you came to me in my dream. i didn’t expect to see you there, it’s been a while. only on rare occasions have i seen you there and for the most part, i’d rather not because i feel like i see you enough in my waking world with the memories that still surround me that when i close my eyes, i’d like some peace.but, the more i’m awake today, i feel like it’s okay that you were there.

i will tell you about my dream as if i am talking to you about it, like you were my friend which once upon a time, you were. so in my dream i had fallen in love with someone else which was surprising. not that i had fallen in love because, well, actually maybe that was surprising but i know that is what i want for myself again someday. but, i had fallen in love and it was with someone other than you yet, somehow you were still there. i mean literally there, right beside me and my new love. i don’t know if you two knew each other or what, but he seemed oblivious to your presence but, not me. you were talking (that country twang still so prevalent in your voice) and it was as if i was the only one to hear you. you were chatting us up but my new love wasn’t really paying attention but i was, it was like you were speaking directly to me.

then suddenly we were in some kind of underground room of some sort with metal picnic-like benches everywhere and we were still sitting on the ground just like before. i was in my partner’s lap and you were sitting on one of the benches with your wife. let’s just say she wasn’t as smart and incredibly loud in my dream which i’m assuming she isn’t like in real life (or so I hope) but you guys were happy and it felt…okay. it felt okay to watch from a distance your new life and mine as well. actually, i was living mine and it felt okay.

the next thing i know, i’m about to run a marathon. i felt prepared for it yet, when it came time to do it, i couldn’t really run. i was sluggish and falling behind. like my feet were stuck in concrete or something. i was running in a city and all the buildings around me were glass and above me, i could see you. you had just sat down in some cafeteria like place and i was drawn to you (just like i once was before so that didn’t surprise me). you were carrying around your military bag so i don’t know if you were going someplace or just coming back but either way, you were there and i had to see you. 

so i ran as fast as i could to where you were and when i got there, it was like everything had changed. you had changed. i had changed. our lives had changed. suddenly, you looked different, older. you were a grown man and i’d never seen you like that before. i felt like the only time i knew you was when you were a young spirit, a wild horse, someone unlike me at all. anyway, you were standing at some table and i approached you and you smiled at me. we still knew each other. or maybe we didn’t and you and i were just being friendly. but, you leaned in and kissed me on the forehead and when we pulled from one another, you just smiled. i don’t remember us saying anything but maybe say everything.

you were going to stay married, or you had continued to be married this whole time whether it was to the same person you’re married to now or not. but you had a whole life and so did i. i remember walking away feeling, i don’t know, just okay. like we had both grown into the people we had wanted to be. 

waking up, i felt extremely disturbed by this dream because you were in it. my heart was racing this morning and trying to go over it again and again. i know a part of it was because it felt bittersweet, like that was one of the only places i could see you because we have no contact, i don’t know how you live your life and i don’t know what kind of person you are right now so seeing you in a state like that really rattled me some.i think it was because again, you were once someone who meant so much to me and now you’re becoming but a memory, some good and some not. it felt like i was coming back to old memories of us and old feelings, the things that progressed our relationship in the first place.

i also think it rattled me because seeing you all grown up like that was surreal and to know that that was going to happen (if it does and I sincerely hope it does) without me. that our lives were going to go on as they were and without each other which i can freely admit at times is a hard pill to swallow but, just like in my dream and my waking life, i do know that that is okay and that is the very and only way it should be. don’t get me wrong, i’m still not a big believer in this whole “meant to be” business but, if this is how it is right now, then so be it because after all of these months all i’ve wanted to be was okay. i just wanted to find the strength to move on, i wanted to find the courage to discover who i was, and the ability to know that i can live the life that i want at my own standards and i feel like every day however hard a struggle it is, i am doing it and on my own terms finally. 

i have these days where i think back to you and me and all the things i wanted so badly and all the things i wish i could have done differently so that maybe you’d still be here but, quicker and quicker i’m shutting down those thoughts because i know that who i have become, the things that i have done in the time that you’ve been gone and the things that i so want to accomplish and will, i couldn’t have done those things had you still been in my life. however hard that is to think, and feel and say out loud but, it is the truth. sure, i’m not the exact person i want to be because that’s the thing about life, it’s all about growing but if i were still in the same situation i was when i was with you, i’d be so far from who i could be and that, well, that’s just not an option for me anymore. 

so, maybe this makes me sound pathetic and i’m sure some people will say it does because like i said, it’s been seven months now and i still have days where i think of you and i think of you and me. it’s bittersweet, painful, regretful, remorseful, confusing, complicated but…it is also okay. above all of those it is okay and that is something i know i couldn’t have said when this all started. i’m okay knowing that you’re okay and i’m okay knowing that i’m okay. and i don’t know about you but, i’m ready to start a new year and turn that okay into something more. 

so, if i don’t see you again whether it be in my dreams or elsewhere…happy new year to both you and me. 

Let Someone Love You Just As You Are

23 Dec

i love this and need to tell myself this ❤

Positive Outlooks Blog

Let someone love you just as you are. As flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you might feel, as unaccomplished you might think you are; let someone love you just as you are. And let that someone be YOU. — Sandra Kring

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